A most bizarre week which mixed karaoke, school christmas fairs, a party, a friends’ first born arriving and sadly, a funeral. Many highs and a dull, resounding low. It’s strange how sad news can stop you in your tracks. But you have to carry on, even if it’s on autopilot.
I had a chance meeting with a colleague – or soon to be former colleague – at the supermarket just now, which spelled out my situation without hardly a word being spoken. Loading up my shopping trolley with enough goods to get through a nuclear winter, I sidestepped a man with a buggy and swiftly apologised as my daughter had pranged him with our trolley. ‘Hello’ he said and there was a time delay before I recognised him. I was on a mad dash round Sainsbury’s before early Sunday closing, his face was out of context – casual clothes, stubble and a pushing a baby instead of clean shaven and suited – then the penny dropped, aah, he works on my floor at the office ‘Hi’ I said back. Then my focus sharpened and as he walked off, I could only feel sorry for myself – yep, I’m the single Mum from your office who is soon to be unemployed I thought…and part of me felt, oh my god, he was probably thinking – oh no, there’s that single Mum from the office who just got let go…
Hmmm, I’m obviously emotionally overwraught and tired after a big loss – I wouldn’t usually feel that way. I’ll get another job, but once someone goes – I mean really goes, there’s just emptiness. So this week is a jumble of highs and lows – very bitter sweet and I just have to go with the flow. Who knows what to expect, when I checked my diary on Monday, I hadn’t planned to be going to a funeral on Friday.
God bless her soul. RIP BSB. It was a pleasure to have known you.