Nixdminx
The life and times of a happy go lucky blogger in London
Gossip Girls: My Mum's out of work and going to rehab?? I said NO, NO, NO
Categories: gadgets, lifestyle, London, music

Miniminx and I have both got cricked necks from too much Wii Fit and sleeping at funny angles – oh ha ha not. I’ve learned the true meaning of a pain in the neck. Oh yes, kids do say the funniest things don’t they. My reputation is in tatters thanks to Miniminx and her salacious gossip…

Taking full of advantage of my lack of gainful employment, Miniminx enjoyed a day at home on Monday with warmed neckpad, hot water bottle, Disney Channel, lots of moaning and wearing out the battery on her DS (oops sorry I darling, I forgot where I hid, I mean tidied away the charger…). She seemed fine yesterday, so off to school we went.

A few hours later, I get the call from school, ‘Your little darling is in the sick bay and wants her Mummy’. So off I pootle to school and pick her up and we have to cab it to my long awaited facial with her wearing my long-haul-flight-neck-cosy… I thought I’d take advantage of the Giraffe 2-4-1 dinner and stuff cooking so off we went afterwards for a nice quick supper and an arm wrestle over homework.

‘Mum, it’s lucky I can remember your mobile number off by heart now as the ladies in the school office didn’t have to go through all the files.’
‘Oh, you’re such a clever little darling aren’t you!’
‘Oh yeah, and they asked if you’d be at work but I told them you wouldn’t be ‘cos you’re UNEMPLOYED now and NOT WORKING.’
‘Thanks darling’

So it doesn’t end there, that was just the beginning….

I love Amy Winehouse and her scat cat antics, she’s one of my favourite singers and mostly, her lyrics are unintelligible to Miniminx (and me actually), but I think she’s going to have to be silenced for a while. Last night, Miniminx called down the stairs ‘MUUUUUUUUUUM?? WHAT’S REEE HABBB???

‘Oh, you know, it’s for drunks and druggies darling’
‘What does that mean?’
‘Um, well, if Mummy was drinking two bottles of vodka and having a glass of wine at breakfast, I’d probably need to go to rehab. But obviously I don’t need to because I don’t’ I said smugly…

My little angel’s face poked out of a mountain of bathtime bubbles and said what only an eight year old can…
‘Ha ha, I’m going to tell everyone at school you’re going to rehab…’

Well that will go down like a cold cup of sick with the school gate mums…I’m going to get a t-shirt printed and fast…I’M NO AMY.

Needless to say, she is in school today sporting a ThermaCare heatwrap with instructions to keep a lid on the gossip or all gadgets will be returned to Lapland pronto!

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