Along came January – there was an adjustment period to this new situation.
It lasted about a day or so. I was free!
And so, so glad to escape the glass towers where I had worked. Once a bustling enterprise, it was haunted by glum, grey, despondent suits wailing over share prices and school fees. Ironically they had kept their jobs but with a world gone so crazy in the throes of the credit crunch this oxymoron was quite the norm.
They lived in fear.
I was way past that stage.
Okay – I’m glossing over the bad stuff – there were bills to worry about, friends and family frantic about me not working, self doubt etc etc. but I could not allow this to consume me.
And I have to fess up to luxuriating in all this new found free time and being a full time Mum. All the same, I still kept a semblance of busy-ness to give myself a purpose. I wrote. A lot. For some reason, I felt that this would really help me out of this situation and lead somewhere, exactly where, I wasn’t sure but for the time being, it seemed 150% right.
Dropping Miniminx off to school became a leisurely past time rather than a rabid rush. Walking along the river on the way home, I’d start thinking of what to write. Life as a ‘no hoper’ had such rich pickings, and while it filled the yawning gap left by a career on hold, there was never any shortage of ideas.
Back in the
tedious mind-numbing and utterly depressing world of jobhunting the jobs evaporated in front of my eyes. I spent hours trawling the web, calling people, meeting headhunters, writing my CV, following up, rewriting my CV, and uploading my CV to sites. But there was nothing out there for me or anyone else.
And then it was February.
I started to contribute to other blogs; London Mums, Mummo, Mumsrock and was a Mychild top blogger- it was really great fun, and I suppose I was of the moment; a vocal and blogging credit crunch casualty but that was just a sideshow. I’m a Mum, with a daughter, and I was able to share that with other Mums and for the first time felt I was able to discuss Motherhood and feel the empathy.
Then, I found out about a Carnival. I wasn’t quite sure what a Carnival really was – I’m an ex Notting Hill girl so to me it means one thing – a three day bender and a week to recover. But I soon learned it was much more civilised and a round up of blog posts with links to the stories and name checks. This one was to appear on AlphaMummy – the top site for Mums. I was in awe.
I submitted an article.
Well, actually I didn’t, I drafted the email.
Then had a coffee and thought it over.
‘Would it be such a good idea?’ I asked myself. ‘What if anyone reads it?’
I left the email in draft and felt a bit flustered.
‘What have you got to lose?’ I said to myself. ‘Hmmm, um, nothing?’
I pressed send.
Then I dashed upstairs and hid under my bedcovers. I’m serious, I did!
‘What the bloody hell have I done?’ I was cringing.
Gawping at myself in the mirror before heading out the door to pick Miniminx up from school, I splashed my face with coldwater and told myself;
‘Get a grip, it won’t even make it anyway – who’d be interested in me?’
And when I checked AlphaMummy a few days later, it was on there…I had made my first carnival!
It meant a lot and inspired me to keep on going.
For all my bluster, I’d still taken quite a knock and this helped me rise above it.
I began to love carnivals and continued submitting to them, even creating my own Credit Crunchista Carnivale which proved to be quite
possibly a bit too tongue in cheek popular (thankfully!).
That’s when I started to really enjoy the whole thing with a passion.
And come to think of it, I never actually stopped working really, did I?
More to follow…