Here’s one for the Rubbish Diet carnival. It’s basically about incontinent reindeer, how to make do with what you already have oh, and never buy wrapping paper again.
For all of you with curious, bright children who want to know everything there is to know about the magic of Christmas Eve and the safe delivery of gifts, here’s my version of events.
There’s that particular question that arises on Christmas day when the presents have arrived safely down the chimney and they are intact and beautifully wrapped.
‘Mummy – how come we have the same wrapping paper as Father Christmas?’
My answer is this:
‘Darling, those poor little reindeer don’t have a moment to stop on Christmas – they can’t cross their legs like we do you know. They often get caught short and sometimes the presents arrive covered in, well, how can I put this? They might be a bit poohy. And they could even be a bit soggy from wee. And those reindeer, well they spit a lot like camels, so it’s bad, I mean, sometimes the presents can arrive in a bit of a mess, in fact it’s pretty yucky. So you can forgive Father Christmas for rewrapping when he gets here can’t you?’
I am greeted with saucer shaped eyes.
‘Oooh. That’s why.’ says Miniminx.
This year, we found that Father Christmas was very much in the spirit of the credit crunch and he’d dropped all ambitions of using fancy wrapping paper and opted instead for some sheets of white tissue paper (which were languishing in the back bedroom and left over from our house move ages ago) and raided the craft box for labels and a silver pen.
‘Wow darling – he rewrapped them all this year…isn’t he clever? Much better for him to re-use old stuff isn’t it? I reckon all the money he saved on fancy paper probably went to get you an extra present. And it’s a double recycle – using that paper we had and then we can recycle it’
‘Yeah – wrapping paper is about £4 a roll so that lot would have cost about £20 or so to wrap and then the paper would have been straight in the bin and all that money wasted.’
‘Cool Mum, that’s great.’
And what ensued was nothing less than a frenzy of ripping paper and squealing as presents were opened.
Nice to know that I still have a stash of old tissue paper that will come in handy for a few years, that’s of course if I don’t move house again. And all thanks to some incontinent reindeer.