picture credit James Mosingo

No darlings, no typo, I’m far too considered for that. I suppose it’s more of a wardrobe misfunction. Or really a malfunction. Actually, it’s a nonfunction. No, no, sorry. It’s a gone-function.

‘Wasdrobe’ is my new name for what was my work wardrobe. It came to me as I opened up the white doors to find something to wear for my child-free bout of weekend socialising. I rifled through the rails marvelling at all this smart stuff I haven’t worn for months and had a small but perfectly formed revelation. A very obvious and great divide had evolved….

You see, while I’ve had time on my hands, I’ve put it to good use. I’ve done what every good girl should, but no frazzled full-time-working-bread-winner-plate-spinning Mum can do, I’ve colour coded my wardrobe (yep, I bet you’re jealous).

I know, it’s not exactly ground breaking, but it’s my own kind of Hong Kong Shoey Feng Shui. Starting on the left with a winter white Prada waterproof jacket that’s definitely seen a few adventures…moving towards chocolate browns including a very neat suede biker cut jacket, a D&G striped knit with olive sleeves and a few choice khaki items; linen trousers etc, then on to my blue clothes, and ending at my DVF purple satin wrap blouse. Then strangely, a gap. Well not quite a gap, it’s filled with empty wooden hangers. And towards the right, it’s all gone a bit Johny Painter – see vid if you’re not a Fast Show aficionado…

So there it is.
A preCredit Crunch collection of expensively tailored, extensively searched for, very exquisite and very defunct clothing.

Black cacherel 50s style jacket, my prized Armani cinched waist rosette jacket, DKNY nipped waist dress, Miu Miu capri pants, black merino jersey t-shirt, black stretch cotton tank, black biker jacket, black Maggie Wonka net skirt, some eco friendly black wrap dress. And there’s a whole lot more languishing at the dry cleaners.

But who cares about the designers – it’s all just black – and a sign of things now past. Like they say, consigned to the back of the cupboard. And how the world has changed…

Funny isn’t it when you see a little capsule collection, or rather a time capsule, like that?

This surely is frugaletarianism at it’s absolute best, happy reading.

Bin there…
First I bring you The Rubbish Diet , better than a bogof (‘buy one get one free’ for the uninitiated), it has a great round up of eight or so ways to keep your bin empty, your belly full and change in your purse.

Charity Begins at Home

Shoestring Alley is a great take on living for less and putting aside money for the future. So the lucky girl will be having a great holiday and a cushy Christmas in 2009.

I really like Potty Mummy’s new frugal ways – I’ve been taking a few notes, especially on the meal planning side…and you can save yourself a thousand quid or so, not bad eh?

Violet Posy shares her shabby chic style and tells us about her chair make over.

London for Free

The lovely Susanna at A Modern Mother sent me this post which makes me proud to be a Londoner. Our melting pot metropolis is possibly the most expensive city in the world, yet we still manage throw open the doors of our great institutions for free. Find out how you can have a free workshop at The National Gallery.

For Frugal Fashionistas

Bargain hunters will be delighted to discover Recessionista Sister who is up on all the latest high street deals so check out her posts, and keep yourself plush and lush for less.

Buying Designer Clothes has tips on customising your wardrobe and keeping on trend for just a few quid.

Sharon Rose has a fabulous Fashion Thrifting blog and waxes lyrical about her designer bargains.

Effing Had Enough of this Crunchy thang

Writeonmum bucks the trend of hiding behind the sofa when the bailiffs arrive and shares her peace love and crunchiness to solve our financial woes.

From Across the Pond

Mom Most Travelled gives a tutorial on how to make colourful play silks for the kids – just swap food colouring for Kool Aid and it’s a winner.

Almost Frugal has some reading tips – The Tightwad Gazette and Your Money or Your Life for a start – and asks what unlikely reads are helping to shape your journey towards frugality as she shares her own – and there are a few surpises.

Tighten Your Belt is happy to share advice with regular tweets on making every cent count. Sign up to the updates and check out the first top 20 tips here.

Nixdminx

My top tip? It’s a state of mind.   ! I’m getting on a cheap flight and heading to the sunshine for a few days to stay with some very good friends and spend time rather than cash…who knows, I may have a job soon and my lady of leisure lifestyle will be over.

Thanks everyone, please send us your top tips too, I hope you all enjoy new and interesting ways to live more for less!

And let’s not forget

“Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.”

- Dorothy Parker

I don’t know about you, but I have an inner-freak radar. If I hear or see something just the slightest bit quirky, I just can’t help myself – I become entranced, it’s as if I’ve had an audience with Paul Mackenna. It kind of works like this video

Just last week I was at my gym and the receptionist (she’s about 18, very innocent, very bright, very bored and probably in a gap year before Cambridge) was chatting to one of the tiny size zero oranged gym bunnies.

‘Good morning’
‘Hi’
‘So what do you do’
‘Botox’
‘Oh’
‘Yeah’
‘So you mean, you’ve had Botox?’
‘Yes I have’ ooh, this is getting good I thought, can she smile?
‘And, you do Botox?’
‘Yeah’ ooh, one word answers, is her mouth frozen?? Fantastic!
They both grin, one because it’s the only face she can pull and it’s stuck there, the other because she’s hoping that the conversation is over. I’ll leave it to you to guess which one is which.

But hang on a minute gals, this is when the Nixdminx inner-freak radar hit a total high. I was propelled, zombie-like toward the two of them. Sidling up to the coffee bar to grab a closer look, the Botox gym bunny looked at me witheringly (neck muscles active I thought, good sign). I quickly downsized my meerkat behaviour and pretend-rummaged in my handbag. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but I wasn’t giving up just quite yet. Jumping Jesus, every time she turned round, she clocked me craning my neck and widening my big blues.

Oh purlease….just let me get a really good, really long, very hard look at that poisoned face…how difficult can it be? What’s the harm? I wanted to see what a bona fide loud and proud botox face looked like. After five minutes, I gave up the ghost and sauntered towards the changing room, and sadly the freak-o-meter sensed nil.

Completely unwittingly, I did it again the other morning – and to my complete and utter shame – with witnesses. In the sleepy enclave of London where I live (yes,I found one), there’s really not much shocking going on, but if there is, I’m there, like a bad smell lapping it up. As I lazily walked up to the school gate I was reminded of this discussion on Mumsnet, and at the same time, had a Life on Mars moment, feeling like I’d been hurled unceremoniously back a few decades.

There in front of me was a total notox pram-toting smoker – AT THE SCHOOL GATES – call the papers! What a girl, I thought, she’s sooo brazen, she’s sooo fab. Even better, her boots clip-clapped on the asphalt and I spied those tell-tale white square stickers on the sole – she hadn’t taken the price tags off – priceless! What a complete fashion faux pas and she just didn’t give a crap. Wow, a cardinal sin in London’s Pleasant Valley – ooh, I just had to get a look at her roots. I know, I’m terrible aren’t I? But I bet you’ve all done it all the same, or at the very least thought of doing it yourself. Haven’t you? Are you sure? Well I did take a snidey butchers….at least two inches of regrowth…

So this chick was fully made up, totally self confident and didn’t give a hoot about the finer details. 100% for attitude I say. While there’s me suffering from school-gate angst, spraying myself top to toe with perfume and rinsing with mouthwash if I’ve even had the slightest hint of a cheeky lunchtime glass of wine, never ever smoking within at 10 miles radius, and wearing sunglasses if I’m not made up…which brings my own double standards into sharp focus.

I’m always carping about the people (women and men) I know who plunder all manner of chemicals for their complexion but would never let you smoke/drink/swear/eat around them. Am I just the same? I’ve never had botox but in recent weeks, I’ve serious considered having a 10 Years Younger make over in the hope that I will look better for a job interview.

You see that’s the point of this game, I’ve been quietly obsessing in my doledrums (sic) when in fact, out in the real world, people don’t give a flying crap, they just brazenly get on with it – botox or notox, it’s all the same.

Well, I guess, it’s time to get to grips with my own inner-freak and let it all hang out…roll on school run, the real radar-free me is beating a path to the playground!

There’s more to life than Aldi and Lidl, which is why I am hosting the best and most luscious budget blogs here soon…so please join me and make it happen!

Email nixdminx@live.co.uk with Credit Crunchista Carnivale in the title and include the post you’d like to enter, with a link and a brief synopsis of you and your blog.

The deadline is March 16 2009, and I’ll send you more details to post and publicise on your own blogs. C’est tres simple!

TTFN – I’m off to the gym now for a workout and a pamper, with a bag of fabulous freebies….

Westfield – the carbuncle on the side of the A40 that has gradually taken shape over the last few years with new bus garages and tube to accommodate shoppers – is open after a long wait, and at the height of the credit crunch, most shops have opened with huge price cuts.

Oh my god! It’s amazing – plus they have Wagamama, so lunch was sorted – also very American and it seems much bigger than the Westfield in San Francisco. Apart from being overheated and over lit – why do we get told to buy energy saving light bulbs when shopping centres blaze light 24-7? Miniminx asked for pocket money to buy me a Christmas present so I gave her £10 and she asked the lady behind the desk at Tiffany & Co what that would buy here – prices start at £40 she was told, much to her dismay!

We mooched around Miu Miu, Prada, DKNY – nothing very inspiring and no sale on in the big labels yet. There is a Zara Home so we had a good look around – it’s changed in the last two years, it’s no longer a cornucopia of exotic items, it’s trying to take on the blandness of The White Company and it’s more expensive – I bought a faux fur white bedspread at The White Company for £90, while Zara Home had throws starting at around £129-£179 – that brand can’t command that price so I’d expect to see huge price drops in the sale.

I should have taken photos – the kids have little W12 Black Taxi buggies to help them around the shops – great idea. Lots of very modern comfy public seating – it was all full though.

I’ll definitely go back, it’s a complete change of scene and quite refreshing – not sure if my love affair with Selfridges will continue – but Shopping, Seduction and Mr Selfridge lends an air of mythology to the place which I don’t think Westfield will ever have. We will see how that compares when we visit on Tuesday – in the meantime, I have to try and book a visit with Santa at the Selfridges Grotto.

Gor blimey – The Pier was having a liquidation sale, 20% off at Heals, everywhere I looked SALE, 20%, 30%, 40%, 50% – going, going, gone…but most of it’s all tat. No real bargains and all the joy of and magic of Christmas is disappearing down the drain – what about the Christmas lights and the window decorations? It’s all become a cut price parody of the traditional Peace and Love to All Men. So I bought very little but discovered that in Topshop it’s business as usual and there were queues at the tills, the same in H&M Kids – Zara and Mango had sales on but the clothes were dreary, Urban Outfitters just looks so cheap, I didn’t bother buying anything, but a Grace Jones T-shirt caught my eye and that’ll be great to wear on Christmas day so I’ll have to pop back. It’s a real nonfashion moment this year – no great boots about so my Belstaff’s have been refurbished to last another year. Most of my presents this year are from Space NK (even they have a sale on – which I’ve never known), Cowshed and Amazon. My final fright was Primark – people sitting on the window sills outside having lunch – it was as if the old Wembley Market was on – it’s dire. But it does seem that all the value shops are still full without having to go to the lengths of a pre Christmas sale.

So that’s enough of the West End until next week – every year I take Miniminx to Selfridges, usually on Christmas Eve, and we go to Gordon’s Bar, it’s a much loved tradition of ours, last year we were sat next to a very gorgeous looking Jordan with one of her young children – I have a glass of champagne and Miniminx has an icecream float, then we waft around the store and spend lots of money. It’s frivolous, festive and fun – I hope they have the coat and bag room again – you can leave your shopping and coats for £2 and hightail it round the store in style.

This is precisely why I need a job – I love London and it all it brings!