I’m starting the year with a resolution to continue supporting the good works that bloggers can do by becoming part of the Mom Bloggers for Social Good with 400 founding blogging Mums.  I know I am in great company and hope that we can make some noise in 2012 for all these good causes.

Mom Bloggers for Social Good is a global coalition of mum bloggers who currently span eleven countries – United States, Canada, UK, India, Spain, Nigeria, Singapore, Netherlands, Malaysia, Jamaica, and the Philippines  – who care about spreading the good news about the amazing work non-profit organizations and NGOs are doing around the world.

When the campaign partners need to reach the masses about new initiatives, advocacy campaigns, or fundraising efforts we will work collectively to spread the word through our social media and blogging platforms to spread the word.

Here’s where you can follow the campaigns in social media:

A-lister Gywneth Paltrow has established her llifestyle and family blog/newsletter Goop and a year or so on, there’s still lots of negative backlash. I’m not exactly sure why – it’s a pretty, well designed, considered, and sometimes wistful, statement of who she is; yet it’s had a pasting. It’s more genuine than, say, the lifestyle pages of Vogue. At least when I read her thoughts on London, I don’t feel I’m being sold something, which I so often do when I ready glossy mags fattened by advertising. I love what she does, and by the way, if you haven’t seen Glee, you have to watch her in this.

Celebrity Mommy bloggers aside, Dooce is the leading US Mom blogger, and a great success story to boot. One of my favourite blogs, Gawker, has run a piece on the amount of attention she receives which you can read here. There’s a bit of ‘So what?’ about it when I read it – and I wonder why shouldn’t she get media coverage if she’s a trailblazer, and why is a blog bashing another blog? Well, there are no rules in the blogosphere which makes it such an interesting and frustrating place to be.

Sadly, blog-on-blog bashing is becoming an all too familiar story. I don’t do it myself because I have neither the time nor the inclination, but it’s tough to be on the receiving end one way or another. It’s a very weird feeling to read a blog post written about something you do, or are doing, and the comment trail that follows. It’s then that you have to take on board that blogs are to some degree public property once they are put out in the web at large (and don’t ever forget it, for good or bad). It’s a sympton of the cyber conversation culture that love and snarkiness co-exist – free speech resonates with others and comments can take as little time as a text message to write and post.

But all hope is not lost. Dooce is owned by Heather Armstrong and if you’re into blogging and you can’t fail to have heard of her, she has very resourcefully turned snarking on its head and her army of dissenters into a new art form. It makes me laugh out loud that she has developed a huge ad revenue stream from her ‘hate mail’ by publishing it on an area of her blog for people to read – it turned out to be hugely popular, obviously people love to read a good snark if it’s at someone else’s expense – if only I could the same from spam comments!

And who are the other US Mommy bloggers worth checking out? I’ve just got two super special reads to recommend, and both of them have made me cry with laughter and they also are shit hot writers, so well worth taking a few quiet moments to read and enjoy the stillness (by that I mean after the kids have gone to bed!):

Nashville, Tennessee based Suburban Turmoil is a favourite of mine which I have definitely not had enough time to read of late. While it’s a window on another world it airs the common themes of modern life with a large dose of humour

MTFF is another one, she’s a Brit with a massively creative life, and her blog is choc full of beautifully written prose

And if you don’t know what snarking is, it is by definition:

a) A strange creature created by Lewis Caroll

b) A sarcastic, caustic comment or interaction in cyberspace

Closer to home there was a lot of good will and love going out on twitter with tweets backing all the bloggers who were going to be on the show – I suppose you could call it a tweet-in! And while everyone is still riding high on the wave of Cybermummy, it’s hard not to feel that this phenomenon is now a movement that is gathering pace and volume and there are very exciting times ahead.

So what exactly does go through the mind of a Mummy blogger when she’s asked to come in and chat to with Jane Garvey? She being the presenter of Womans Hour, the great British institution on Radio 4, and the voice that fills my kitchen as I sit at my round white kitchen table and write.

I’m going to tell you and it’s not that pretty.

Maybe I should have been thinking the usual stuff that us civilians think when we abscond from our mundane reality and end up almost by accident on a high profile mainstream medium like the news; I’m going to be famous, even for just a few minutes?! How amazing! I can’t believe my luck! And of course, I really should have had my considered (and grown up) thoughts of – Oh, what a great example of the happy marriage of new and old media this is going to be, I am going to relish this.

Well, to be honest, a bit of both was going on, but as 10am drew near and I fidgeted nervously in the studio chair, there was a completely different story going on inside my head.

In times of stress, random thoughts fleet across my mind like clouds in a blue sky; serenity has become interrrupted and I am at the mercy of my inner musings (which from time to time escape from my mouth at largely in appropriate moments).

With around 90 seconds to go until the show started, I found myself tangled up inside, and it went something like this;

‘OOh I love her shoes, she’s tiny, friendly. Her hair is really shiny – really, really shiny’

‘This really reminds me of that funny scene in the Thick of It when both parties raid the radio station – was that meant to be the BBC – think of something normal now, focus – whatever you do don’t laugh’

My eyes wander around the room, and I’m jittery. Still these thoughts come thick and fast. I’m now frozen, still as a statue.

‘Better not keep scratching my head, they might think I’ve got nits’
‘How many famous people have sat in this seat? Loads I bet’
‘It’s like being on telly – of course it’s not you idiot, it’s like being on the radio you der’

I cough to clear my throat. It’s getting a bit dry, the studio is a bit warm. It’s nearly time to go out live on air – the thought strikes me that there will be no barrier between me opening my mouth and my words arriving in someone’s house. It is live. Oh.

‘Nearly time to go live on air, how wrong can this go right?’ I’m going to sound like an airhead. Perhaps I should have written some notes – but then I would be shuffling them now and annoying Jen (the Cybermummy founder).’

I daren’t look at Jen in case I get the giggles – I am such a bloody kid – ‘Why can’t I be sophisticated like her?
It’s just impossible for me to be grown up for a minute.’

I begin to resign myself to fluffing up the whole thing. Until I realise there are now only seconds to go and the show intro is playing.

‘What if I choke/swear/fart/clam up or have an attack of screaming hysterics – or worse, all of it?’
‘Headphones, ummmm, maybe I should put them on, she’s got them on one ear, I bet I’ll drop them really loudly. It’s too late now.’
‘Try not to whistle down the mike (I always did that as a kid when we did pretend Top of the Pops at home’

‘Stop!’ my inner Prefect shouts: ‘Your mind is wandering!! – think b-l-o-g-s and b-l-o-g-g-i-n-g’

I start self-editing and near sensible thoughts return:

‘If she pronounces my blog name wrong will I correct her? What if I swear without realising – is there any security in the building – will they swoop on me an have me turfed out of Broadcasting House and banned for life?’

Shit it’s live…oh bums…no, of course I’m not nervous…it’s too late now anyway.

I am introduced; she pronounces my name perfectly, enunciates my blog title to perfection and I squeak,

‘Hello.’
And I say bums twice in the interview. Ho hum.

Listen for yourself here:

I confess that on occasion, I’ve imagined giant Michelin Man style Dr Who baddies crafted in metallic silver suits with high pitched voices charging through London, armed with iPads shouting; Blog Post! Twitter! Bloggity-dash-dot-com.  Well, sorry, I shouldn’t have shared that last bit, but you get the gist.

So roll on July 3 2010 and the big day had finally arrived.

Honestly, I had no idea what to expect; well, maybe a lots of birkenstocks and maxi dresses due to the gossiping taking place on twitter, and more than a few friendly faces congregating in a London hotel for the conference.  But still, it wasn’t forming proper shapes in my brain, I couldn’t yet see what form it was all going to take.

I arrived at the Ibis on Lillie Road.  It was crazy hot weather even at 10 am-ish so I was craving the comforts of air con.  Wanting to avoid the rush, I missed the first bit and walked in to the reception to pick up my ticket.  There were friendly hellos.  And then I wandered into the hall to drink coffee and lots of it.

To say I was suprised at the vision in front of me was an understatement; Mummy bloggers were everywhere and had taken over the venue big style for the day, and with hardly a man in sight it was quite bizarre. If google maps had their cameras out that day there would have been a great big sign for femininity above SW6, rather like the one below.

Even the men’s toilets had been sequestered to accommodate the crowd – Duchamp would have quivered at this derivative of his iconic installation. Nicely done though isn’t it?  I couldn’t help myself and had to take a photo.

I was liveblogging from the first session which was great.  Lots of seriousness offset with giggles and crying babes in arms wanting to get in on the act. There was definitely a feeling of excitement and warmth inside that cool hall.

It was great to see so many bloggers; there was lots of hot gossip, catching up, pointing out ‘She’s the one that wrote…’ to each other and meeting people for the first time who I’ve known online for an age.

What struck me too was that throughout the last couple of years, there’ve been a number of bloggers going through pregnancies and there were babies now, WAHM BAHM’s has grown, Glowstars has given birth, it all moves on so quickly.

There was a keynote, a crowdsourced keynote, just the term sounds so clever, so cyber and so unMummyish, that I thought I’d walked into a dot com camp or hackday.  That was until the stories came tumbling out from nervous speakers who were more than a little overwhelmed by being on stage and speaking into a microphone under bright lights.

When Sandy Calico read out her post, she had to catch her breath a few times, and the rest of us sat and listened in awe.  Eyes glistened, we all drooled tears and grasped at the table napkins to hastily wipe them away.  I wasn’t going to cry, I thought, I’ll sit here and tough it out.  But I couldn’t.  I’m just a human after all.  Not a real cyber Mummy – flesh and blood and just one of the girls too. I was not alone, I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house.

Carol read out her story and I was stunned about how brave she was to have survived it, and lived well, and stood before us to tell her tale, but it was The Madhouse that made me want to sit under the table and weep as she recounted her close encounter with death.  It was a humbling experience and I had a slow dawn, a realisation and a new feeling about this closeness and intimacy that we all share through our writing.  It wasn’t about being a blogger, or a Mum, it was about sharing womanhood, simple, true and clear.

It was an amazing experience – and of course, there was the next generation sleeping through it all just behind me – what a doll isn’t she?

Jennifer Howze is talking about what you need to do to be a good blogger. She says it’s not just about content; it’s about getting involved and that the readers tend to be searingly honest in their criticism.

Next it’s over to the the panellists who have great credits in journalism, writing and blogging.

Josie from Sleep is for the Weak is telling the audience about how honesty means she writes about pain and gain. She doesn’t just write about motherhood. She also wants a window into your own wonderful world, full of imperfection and amazing personal stories. I think she is quite an inspirational speaker; she’s going to get a big round of applause at the end of this!

Now on to Supersavvy me – the P&G parenting blog – and this is the story of the community. Laura Lee is a ‘reformed’ rock and celebrity journo who says mummy blogging offers fascinating insights into the mundane. She mentions quirky stories; like eBay popping round to your house to tell you what will sell and a round up of the best five vanillas to use in your icecream.

Gigi is the editor and founder of Mumsrock – and she wants to tell the audience about what she’s looking for in good content. If your content strikes a nerve; Mumsrock will love it because it starts a conversation. She is talking about her story on the M-word – about what it means to be called Mum. It became embroiled in a Daily Mail controversy and was republished there, causing an uproar. She thanks Liz Jones for all the traffic that comes to the site due to articles she’s posted. That’s why Mums Rock!

Judith is Wife in the North – she is hilarious and incredibly successful. She got a book deal from well written posts. And great that she is here; she says her stories were very confessional and that made it a good read. But first and foremost you have to write as well as you can and also do some soul searching. Are you writing to entertain, be creative, vent or make friends? Be aware of that means. Above all it’s really empowering to be a blogger, especially women.

India is on now and she is very proud of the way women are blogging and are no longer isolated thanks to blogging. Her views on content; blog envy! She does not have the same freedom as a freeform blogger. She thinks bloggers should relish that – and also write what you want to read – even if it’s bottom jokes! If you don’t entertain yourself, don’t bother. Even if it’s arcane, bizarre or boring; it can still make an interesting read. Anything that feels too laboured it’s not going to work; it should look effortless. Stick to what you know and that will work best and you will get what you want out of blogging. And to finish, blogging has reclaimed domestic life!

And now it’s question time.

Q1
How to deal with negative comments
WITN; said she got some shtick for being a novelist, journalist and female who was making money. If comments are fair and negative you need to toughen up. You can explain yourself in comments if you want to field the criticism or respond. You can be rude back or block the comments if you don’t want to retaliate.

Q2 What about no comments?
Keep at it and visit other blogs and don’t get too worried say SIFTW.

Q3 Is about how much information should you share on your blog?
WITN says if you would not be prepared to say it, don’t write it. IK about children’s privacy – she’s not sure but says your follow your instinct and I think this discussion will be a continuing theme for the day. Gigi says that anonymous blogging is where people have the place to vent but don’t hurt people and be careful how you say it.

Getting personal, doing product reviews, and learning why good writing is just the beginning.

And the panel again – details are below, including links.
* Jennifer Howze, The Times and alphamummy (moderator)
* LauraLee Davies, supersavvyme
* Gigi Eligoloff, mumsrock
* Josie George, sleepisfortheweak
* India Knight, The Sunday Times and indiaknight.posterous.com
* Judith O’Reilly, wifeinthenorth

Cyberymummy is today July 3 2010 at

My point of pain which I feel with both facebook and youtube, is that as a blogger, I have to split my blog name up. So nixdminx becomes Nixd Minx (see below). Because this is a personal blog I just don’t see the need to create a fan page or group, may I should have but it doesn’t seem right. It’s the same with my youtube channel, I really want to rename my personal channel to my blog name but I can’t. It seems such a simple thing to do so why can’t I? Don’t you remember when you could change your IM name on a whim on messenger? It also means that people miss out on me when they’re looking for me. Grrrrr.

Nixd Minx

Create your badge

And now it’s my turn to give some of you an early christmas pressie back.

So without further ado, here are the recipients of the goodies, and I only ask that you email me at nixdminx@live.co.uk to organise posting things to you.

Karaoke Golden Ticket

The Lucky Voice Golden Ticket with two hours free singing in this most glamorous of establishments with cocktails and microphones galore goes to: MummyTips

Uh Oh Oh Oh Oh and the song below turns out to be Crazy in Love by Beyonce!

Super Lush Sweet and Dreamy Box

This gorgeous Sweet and Dreamy Lush briar box of rosy dreams and sugar candy baths will be winging it’s way to Sandy Calico.

Festive Fun: Peter Pan tickets

Two tickets to see the Peter Pan show at the 02 from lastminute.com* will be winging their way to Liz a Living with Kids.

The Simple Human Sinky Caddy & Drainer is going to Gotyourhandsfull.

Tickets to SeaLife
And two tickets to Sea Life – take your pick which one you want to go to – are given to The MadHouse

Transformers DVDs
We have four winners of the of Transformers 2 Revenge of The Fallen DVDs and you are:

Amy at and1moremeansfour

Clarebabble at clareybabble

Vic at Glowstars

and finally Insomniac Mummy

Thanks to again for dropping by. And thanks also goes to Lush, lastminute.com, Simple Human, Lucky Voice and Paramount DVD for their generosity.,

*valid for performances Monday to Thursday before December 17 2009

While I’d love to buy a drink for each and every single of the one hundred bloggers heading to the Zoo this Sunday, I don’t think it’s fair on those of you that can’t make it.

How about I make you all some cake? Yes, that photo is me in the kitchen, rustling up something tasty, wonderful and celebratory – but oh, what rotten luck, with our low-tech social networking, you can’t even taste it!

Well fear not, I’ve managed to magic up with a bit of blagging and barefaced cheek blogging goodness some cracking goodies for everyone to have a shot at bagging.

And here they are and they could be yours, just drop me a comment on this post, or a tweet @nixdminx and I’ll pick the winners of these darling goodies by December 10. I’ll be adding a few more over the coming week too, so keep your eyes peeled lovelies x

Karaoke Golden Ticket

I’ve got a Lucky Voice Golden Ticket on offer. That means two hours free singing in this most glamorous of establishments with cocktails and microphones galore!  It’s so much fun, you’ll want to say longer…I ended up staying an extra three hours on my Birthday last year.

If you can work out what this song is below, will you let me know…the lyrics aren’t recognisable but I think we sang it more than once!

Super Lush Sweet and Dreamy Box

This gorgeous Sweet and Dreamy Lush briar box of rosy dreams and sugar candy baths (quite tempted to keep it actually) could be winging it’s way to you ahead of the Christmas Party Season and could help you get over all those dreadful hangovers feel fresh as a winter daisy.

Festive Fun: Peter Pan tickets

This is one hot show this Christmas – I have two tickets to see the Peter Pan show at the 02 from lastminute.com*.  It’s also a little known fact that my birthday falls on the same day that the original book was published (Peter Pan by J M Barrie)

Kitchen Goodies from Simple Human

Thanks to Simple Human for the Sinky Caddy & Drainer – I would hate for you all to be scrubbing pots and pan without some kind of stylish kit…

Tickets to SeaLife

Here’s one to fill the days after Christmas when you simply have to get out of the house, two tickets to Sea Life – take your pick which one you want to go to

Transformers DVDs

Blockbuster movies are always great for rainy days and I know this one is a goodie. I have four, yes four!, DVDs of Transformers 2 Revenge of The Fallen

I really enjoyed the first film, so please let me know what you think of it – but remember it has a 12 rating.

Thanks to Lush, lastminute.com, Simple Human, Lucky Voice and Paramount DVD for their generous offer of prizes – it always helps to keep the readers happy! x

*valid for performances Monday to Thursday before December 17 2009

The theme of these posts is what has really happened, and this little adventure was the one that made the blogosphere a real place with real people.

Contrary to the generaly rule; that bloggers are a sad and lonely nerds, I’ve made a lot friends through blogging and so have loads of us who snatch the odd hour or two to update our blogs. We’re the people that never shut up! Plus, we’re not the usual run of the mill Mums are we? I’m not sure about you but I’m mildly eccentric, quirky and busy as hell so not only do I keep strange hours, I’m out of the loop on competitive-school-gate-mum-syndrome – which means social media suits me just fine and dandy.

Not long after starting out, I discovered the British Mummy Bloggers social network on Ning and signed up.

To me, it was a bit like walking on stage naked, staring into the spotlights and waiting for the howls of laughter. (I’m a sensitive soul really)

It’s not fun being the newbie is it? There’s nothing worse than feeling you are encroaching on a space you have no right to be in – I was quite apprehensive and worried that maybe it would be a negative experience and that I’d be snubbed.

Imagining if I posted anything ‘uncool’ that I would be kicked into touch, I posted a tentative ‘Hello’.

And.

I was pleasantly surprised.
The welcome was a warm and friendly one.

There were quite a few people saying ‘Hello’ back and offering advice on blogging, family, fun in fact anything. I had lots of help when I wanted to move from wordpress to a hosted environment and the gorgeous Violet Posy gave me a blog make over – which I still sport to this day.

Next up was an interesting development, an invitation to meet up for coffee with the BMB ladies…how intriguing, who were these people hiding behind avatars and blogger handles? My curiosity got the better for me and I accepted.

Just one look in the mirror told me I’d become quite the unemployed-slovenly-singlemum-housewife – I had to scrub up…meet real people. I was scared.

I was meeting Potty and A Modern Mother at Starbucks in Paddington. It all seemed very 2.0 and urban, just my thing in fact.

I scuttled in a panic walked into the coffee shop. Nervous as hell and looking for prams. I spotted two ladies and took a chance.

‘Hello, I’m Nixdminx – are you…er, ummm??’

My words hung in the air, my throat dried, I started to feel a bit stupid – I didn’t know their real names!

‘Hi I’m A Modern Mother’ said the lovely Susanna, she was friendly and warm.
‘And Potty’ beamed the other BMBer.

Gulp.
Phew.
It’s them.
Thank God for that!
I liked them both immediately.

We didn’t have long and we chatted over coffees. It was a very brief meeting, but I’m so glad I went.

Behind these blogger handles were three women, real people, real lives. Things were getting interesting, and a bit more real.

At the next get together at the Rainforest Cafe there were loads of us including kids and this week there will be even more as the guest list now stands at 100 – that’s astounding.

Thanks again to Susanna for setting this up – I hope this reaps great rewards for you in the future but I know it has already x

And so, so glad to escape the glass towers where I had worked. Once a bustling enterprise, it was haunted by glum, grey, despondent suits wailing over share prices and school fees. Ironically they had kept their jobs but with a world gone so crazy in the throes of the credit crunch this oxymoron was quite the norm.
They lived in fear.
I was way past that stage.

Okay – I’m glossing over the bad stuff – there were bills to worry about, friends and family frantic about me not working, self doubt etc etc. but I could not allow this to consume me.

And I have to fess up to luxuriating in all this new found free time and being a full time Mum. All the same, I still kept a semblance of busy-ness to give myself a purpose. I wrote. A lot. For some reason, I felt that this would really help me out of this situation and lead somewhere, exactly where, I wasn’t sure but for the time being, it seemed 150% right.

Dropping Miniminx off to school became a leisurely past time rather than a rabid rush. Walking along the river on the way home, I’d start thinking of what to write. Life as a ‘no hoper’ had such rich pickings, and while it filled the yawning gap left by a career on hold, there was never any shortage of ideas.

Back in the tedious mind-numbing and utterly depressing world of jobhunting the jobs evaporated in front of my eyes. I spent hours trawling the web, calling people, meeting headhunters, writing my CV, following up, rewriting my CV, and uploading my CV to sites. But there was nothing out there for me or anyone else.

And then it was February.

I started to contribute to other blogs; London Mums, Mummo, Mumsrock and was a Mychild top blogger- it was really great fun, and I suppose I was of the moment; a vocal and blogging credit crunch casualty but that was just a sideshow. I’m a Mum, with a daughter, and I was able to share that with other Mums and for the first time felt I was able to discuss Motherhood and feel the empathy.

Then, I found out about a Carnival. I wasn’t quite sure what a Carnival really was – I’m an ex Notting Hill girl so to me it means one thing – a three day bender and a week to recover. But I soon learned it was much more civilised and a round up of blog posts with links to the stories and name checks. This one was to appear on AlphaMummy – the top site for Mums. I was in awe.

I submitted an article.

Well, actually I didn’t, I drafted the email.
Then had a coffee and thought it over.

‘Would it be such a good idea?’ I asked myself. ‘What if anyone reads it?’

I left the email in draft and felt a bit flustered.

‘What have you got to lose?’ I said to myself. ‘Hmmm, um, nothing?’

I pressed send.

Then I dashed upstairs and hid under my bedcovers. I’m serious, I did!

‘What the bloody hell have I done?’ I was cringing.

Gawping at myself in the mirror before heading out the door to pick Miniminx up from school, I splashed my face with coldwater and told myself;

‘Get a grip, it won’t even make it anyway – who’d be interested in me?’

And when I checked AlphaMummy a few days later, it was on there…I had made my first carnival!

It meant a lot and inspired me to keep on going.
For all my bluster, I’d still taken quite a knock and this helped me rise above it.

I began to love carnivals and continued submitting to them, even creating my own Credit Crunchista Carnivale which proved to be quite possibly a bit too tongue in cheek popular (thankfully!).

That’s when I started to really enjoy the whole thing with a passion.

And come to think of it, I never actually stopped working really, did I?

More to follow…