The theme of these posts is what has really happened, and this little adventure was the one that made the blogosphere a real place with real people.

Contrary to the generaly rule; that bloggers are a sad and lonely nerds, I’ve made a lot friends through blogging and so have loads of us who snatch the odd hour or two to update our blogs. We’re the people that never shut up! Plus, we’re not the usual run of the mill Mums are we? I’m not sure about you but I’m mildly eccentric, quirky and busy as hell so not only do I keep strange hours, I’m out of the loop on competitive-school-gate-mum-syndrome – which means social media suits me just fine and dandy.

Not long after starting out, I discovered the British Mummy Bloggers social network on Ning and signed up.

To me, it was a bit like walking on stage naked, staring into the spotlights and waiting for the howls of laughter. (I’m a sensitive soul really)

It’s not fun being the newbie is it? There’s nothing worse than feeling you are encroaching on a space you have no right to be in – I was quite apprehensive and worried that maybe it would be a negative experience and that I’d be snubbed.

Imagining if I posted anything ‘uncool’ that I would be kicked into touch, I posted a tentative ‘Hello’.

And.

I was pleasantly surprised.
The welcome was a warm and friendly one.

There were quite a few people saying ‘Hello’ back and offering advice on blogging, family, fun in fact anything. I had lots of help when I wanted to move from wordpress to a hosted environment and the gorgeous Violet Posy gave me a blog make over – which I still sport to this day.

Next up was an interesting development, an invitation to meet up for coffee with the BMB ladies…how intriguing, who were these people hiding behind avatars and blogger handles? My curiosity got the better for me and I accepted.

Just one look in the mirror told me I’d become quite the unemployed-slovenly-singlemum-housewife – I had to scrub up…meet real people. I was scared.

I was meeting Potty and A Modern Mother at Starbucks in Paddington. It all seemed very 2.0 and urban, just my thing in fact.

I scuttled in a panic walked into the coffee shop. Nervous as hell and looking for prams. I spotted two ladies and took a chance.

‘Hello, I’m Nixdminx – are you…er, ummm??’

My words hung in the air, my throat dried, I started to feel a bit stupid – I didn’t know their real names!

‘Hi I’m A Modern Mother’ said the lovely Susanna, she was friendly and warm.
‘And Potty’ beamed the other BMBer.

Gulp.
Phew.
It’s them.
Thank God for that!
I liked them both immediately.

We didn’t have long and we chatted over coffees. It was a very brief meeting, but I’m so glad I went.

Behind these blogger handles were three women, real people, real lives. Things were getting interesting, and a bit more real.

At the next get together at the Rainforest Cafe there were loads of us including kids and this week there will be even more as the guest list now stands at 100 – that’s astounding.

Thanks again to Susanna for setting this up – I hope this reaps great rewards for you in the future but I know it has already x

And so, so glad to escape the glass towers where I had worked. Once a bustling enterprise, it was haunted by glum, grey, despondent suits wailing over share prices and school fees. Ironically they had kept their jobs but with a world gone so crazy in the throes of the credit crunch this oxymoron was quite the norm.
They lived in fear.
I was way past that stage.

Okay – I’m glossing over the bad stuff – there were bills to worry about, friends and family frantic about me not working, self doubt etc etc. but I could not allow this to consume me.

And I have to fess up to luxuriating in all this new found free time and being a full time Mum. All the same, I still kept a semblance of busy-ness to give myself a purpose. I wrote. A lot. For some reason, I felt that this would really help me out of this situation and lead somewhere, exactly where, I wasn’t sure but for the time being, it seemed 150% right.

Dropping Miniminx off to school became a leisurely past time rather than a rabid rush. Walking along the river on the way home, I’d start thinking of what to write. Life as a ‘no hoper’ had such rich pickings, and while it filled the yawning gap left by a career on hold, there was never any shortage of ideas.

Back in the tedious mind-numbing and utterly depressing world of jobhunting the jobs evaporated in front of my eyes. I spent hours trawling the web, calling people, meeting headhunters, writing my CV, following up, rewriting my CV, and uploading my CV to sites. But there was nothing out there for me or anyone else.

And then it was February.

I started to contribute to other blogs; London Mums, Mummo, Mumsrock and was a Mychild top blogger- it was really great fun, and I suppose I was of the moment; a vocal and blogging credit crunch casualty but that was just a sideshow. I’m a Mum, with a daughter, and I was able to share that with other Mums and for the first time felt I was able to discuss Motherhood and feel the empathy.

Then, I found out about a Carnival. I wasn’t quite sure what a Carnival really was – I’m an ex Notting Hill girl so to me it means one thing – a three day bender and a week to recover. But I soon learned it was much more civilised and a round up of blog posts with links to the stories and name checks. This one was to appear on AlphaMummy – the top site for Mums. I was in awe.

I submitted an article.

Well, actually I didn’t, I drafted the email.
Then had a coffee and thought it over.

‘Would it be such a good idea?’ I asked myself. ‘What if anyone reads it?’

I left the email in draft and felt a bit flustered.

‘What have you got to lose?’ I said to myself. ‘Hmmm, um, nothing?’

I pressed send.

Then I dashed upstairs and hid under my bedcovers. I’m serious, I did!

‘What the bloody hell have I done?’ I was cringing.

Gawping at myself in the mirror before heading out the door to pick Miniminx up from school, I splashed my face with coldwater and told myself;

‘Get a grip, it won’t even make it anyway – who’d be interested in me?’

And when I checked AlphaMummy a few days later, it was on there…I had made my first carnival!

It meant a lot and inspired me to keep on going.
For all my bluster, I’d still taken quite a knock and this helped me rise above it.

I began to love carnivals and continued submitting to them, even creating my own Credit Crunchista Carnivale which proved to be quite possibly a bit too tongue in cheek popular (thankfully!).

That’s when I started to really enjoy the whole thing with a passion.

And come to think of it, I never actually stopped working really, did I?

More to follow…

Incredibly, this story I am writing is post number 149 which means over the last year I’ve probably written around 75,000 words here. That combined with the other writing on sites and blogs I do probably amounts to around 120,00 words – no mean feat when you look at it. But it’s my no means been a difficult challenge, it’s been a total blast and has helped me get to grips with more than just how to click ‘publish’.

So back to where it all began. Facing a particularly difficult situation; no job come January, a Christmas without my daughter and and the end of my work contract wind down, the months appeared before me like an abyss. It was hard not to feel alienated and a social outcast. Even if I wasn’t one, I felt it. It was no suprise I succumbed to an awful attack of the flu. That Friday, the fever was so bad that I was unable to leave the house for three days, and fortunately Miniminx was away for the weekend.

With no choice but to live online while snivelling and bedridden, I just about managed to survive on what was in the house, ordered some online supplies and kept writing. Just a blog post each day, but it was something.

At the end of day three with the tissue box empty and the lemsip packets crumpled, there was a knock on the door and a groaning ghostlike-heap greeted the delivery man. Yes, it was me, and it was at that point I had a revelation.

Nothing was going to be the same again – I’d found a new tool for survival and wasn’t going to give it up.

Blogging might be easy, but getting started is the hardest part. I determined to say anonymous. And by blog name summed up the sense of futility at that time. My high hopes had been nixed and my minxy life crushed. Clown that I am, I set about writing with humour not despair, it took me a while to get it right and it certainly lifted the dark clouds and put the light back behind my eyes.

There is something really unnerving about putting a story out there in this new cyber world they call ‘the cloud’. I imagined my blog posts would be like raindrops falling from this cloud and evaporate before even hitting the ground and, in reality, no one would ever read it.

But they did and hey ho, I got a visitor or two, and thought

‘Oh my god, I wrote a blog post and someone bloody ready it – shit!’

….and then I got a comment, and thought

‘Um, so what happens next? This is quite scary. Who are these people, they have funny bloggy names.’

I had a look around and found other bloggers. Mummies. With beautiful blogs, stickered with awards. I had discovered the Mumosphere, or rather, it has discovered me.

‘Ahem.’ I thought. ‘Well goodness me. I see I’m not alone here.’

I replied to comments, it was like making invisible friends with lovely people. It was a miracle. I was no longer alone at my laptop.

‘Wow. Wahaaay.’

I had a new job.

I had become the accidental Mummy blogger.